I thought Jesus was crazy when He told me to go to Jerusalem alone for a month back in 2006. I said, "Jesus, I have no idea where anything is there -how can I do this alone?"
He answered me, "I know the city very well; I'll show you around; You are not alone."
I couldn't argue.
What Jesus had planned that month was incredible. He DID show me around Jerusalem -actually, He showed me around all of Israel. I stayed with French sisters in a cheap hostel in Gethsemane. There was a huge group of Tahitians who came and some of their group got sick and were hospitalized. I didn't speak Tahitian and my French was weak (to say the least) but they started bringing donated food to my room and then offered to take me with them (all paid) to tour the North of Nazareth, Carmel, Sea of Galilee, etc.,
Another day I met up with an old Focolare friend who had Russian friends and the four of us traveled to Ain Karim (the city where Elizabeth was when Mary went to visit/help her.) And this brings me to the point of this post.
An awesome coffee/ice cream shop!
Here are some more pictures of my visit to this little village:
The well Mary (Our Lady) got water from during her stay...
The hillcountry she ran through...
So happy Feast of the Visitation! Growing up I asked when my Feast Day was and I was told I didn't have one -I had every Marian Feast Day. This actually made me sad because I felt like I didn't have a special day -so I chose today as my Feast Day because my name is Mary Elizabeth. It is also the Feast Day of the Bishop (Mazur) who was first with me in Siberia (before he got kicked out by the government) and so it deeply connects me to my mission life there (and my hope for our Lady's Heart to Triumph).
It was incredible when I arrived in Ain Karim because I walked into a chapel and saw pictures of a Bishop I had just met in France (who ordained priest friends of mine). Bishop Rey had been kind to me encouraging me in my vocation and it made me smile when I found his presence hidden in a little random chapel in the Holy Land. He had asked me what religious community I belonged to. When I told him I was a 'freelance contemplative' he responded, 'Well, when you found a community, I want you in my Diocese!' What a kind (and prophetic) soul... someday I'll found.
So I hope you can enjoy some pictures of the original place of Mary's Visitation. I pray we all can imitate the spirit of Our Mother that was so powerful here. And may we always keep a 'Magnificat' in the midst of our Calvariezed life... that's an incredible teaching I will share with you all some day. For now, just a happy Visitation Feast Day song...
You are my joy, You are my song You are the well, the One I'm drawing from You are my refuge, my whole life long Where else would I go?
Surely my God is the strength of my soul Your love defends me, Your love defends me And when I feel like I'm all alone Your love defends me, Your love defends me
Day after day, night after night I will remember, You're with me in this fight Although the battle, it rages on The war already won I know the war is already won
Surely my God is the strength of my soul Your love defends me, Your love defends me And when I feel like I'm all alone Your love defends me, Your love defends me
We sing Hallelujah You're my portion My salvation Hallelujah
Surely my God is the strength of my soul Your love defends me, Your love defends me And when I feel like I'm all alone Your love defends me, Your love defends me Surely my God is the strength of my soul Your love defends me, Your love defends me And when I feel like I'm all alone Your love defends me, Your love defends me
We sing Hallelujah You're my portion My salvation Hallelujah You're my portion My salvation
My little Muslim brother... how can you not love this little face of smiley tears???
As soon as I walked over to him he started laughing right from his screams. (Don't worry, he was quickly swooped up into my arms -but I had to catch that smile on camera.) He was so happy to have my love... I don't remember the Muslim babies' names all of the time because they were difficult to pronounce, but this child is also a child of my heart. Pray for our little orphans.
The world will be healed by real love. (And often that love comes in little packages. When I said 10:1 ratio in Tanzania, I wasn't kidding. But we had a good system down and as you see, they were happy and healthy.)
The first is just my Polycarp, Lucy, Edwin, Scholastica and Tomsifu
-I was trying to keep them all happy.
(Tomsifu (top) who walks in at the bottom right corner is now 12 and my sweet Polycarp (below) - who the sisters tried to help me adopt -is 10 and still writes to me.)
This next two are from a very very rare day when we had enough helpers in the babyroom... we spent the entire afternoon a'singin'!
I hope these make you smile as much as they make me smile...
I loved these babies so much!
I love my Downey's (rough picture of me at the top, but they are beautiful!) Kathy just brought half of them for a quick coffee with Aunt Mary, but what a joy! (Katie, Grace Sarah and Michael clockwise below -Emily, Joey, Andrew and Clare stayed home to golf with Dad).
Far from our 'coffee days' (below), but my Sarah is still a-smiling!
This is a rambling post -I hope it doesn't annoy the few people who might read my blog tonight. I write for myself more than for others (it doesn't look like anyone really reads it anyway)... I write because it makes me happy and I think it is God's will. When St. Anthony couldn't find people willing to listen to him, he preached to birds (I simply post something here.) I am thinking in Russian word order tonight and I don't know why, but it is making editing this blog difficult. I apologize for any rambling thoughts that don't have my normal cohesive train of thought. I get to be one of my friends, the anawim, in this. Littleness is powerful. So, fiat. +
Who are the anawim? They are the 'little people' who need God.
Here are lots of visuals of true 'anawim':
So, really, who are these anawim of God? They are my best friends... they are my 'good Samaritans' who help me daily to see and experience and taste the presence of God in the world.
Anawim (pronounced ah-nah-weem) is a Hebrew word that means, “the poor who depend on the Lord for deliverance.” Or, 'those who are bowed down.'The anawim of the Old Testament were the poor of every sort: the vulnerable, the marginalized, and socio-economically oppressed, those of lowly status without earthly power. In fact, they depended totally on God for whatever they owned.
These are not usually the priests, the doctors, or the lawyers of this world (although there are exceptions like that picture of Pere Toma Phillippe above -he was truly poor of heart in the holiest of ways).
I was reflecting on these 'little people' who are powerful bombs of God's Love in my life when I was once hospitalized and I made 37 phone calls to 10 priests and a bunch of lawyers and doctors (most were friends) looking for help -only two people called back and after being cut off never returned the calls. So, who did my sweet Jesus send to me? The tax-collectors, drug addicts and prostitutes. And as I noticed this happening to me most recently, I was reminded of all of the times that God has done this for me in the past as well. He chose and sent 'little people' to speak words of laughter, encouragement and wisdom to me, instead of sending the important, the 'holy', and the self-righteous. Incredible... Yes, it is incredible to see pearls of wisdom and pure love come out of such unique characters.
Here are lots of examples of my exchanges with the anawim throughout my lifetime that come to mind tonight -in many countries, different situations and varying times, so often when people I trusted failed me, God sent me 'anawim':
** One day I got off the phone in a public place with a family member who was trying my patience (to say the least) and Sam the tattoo man (I didn't really know him, but came to meet him) walked up to me and said, "Take a deep breath, Mary, and let her go... you can't win with her. I am an atheist, but I am humanitarian and as a humanitarian I am sick of watching what people are doing to you."
How'd he know?
** After a frustrating day, 'John' met me in the hall and said, 'Keep smiling, Mary, you're getting hammered...Here, I'll smile with you. Cheese!'
** Another drug addict greeted me in a public place after I left an infuriating meeting with a questionable (and mean) doctor saying, 'And the truth shall set you free! -I haven't seen it work with you yet, Mary, but it will work someday. Mary, Mary is my Mom's name. You're kinda like my Mom. But I think I should call you ____ (and he repeated the name that Jesus gave me in prayer months ago that NO ONE knows)..." He proceeded to call me by Jesus' name for me.
** One morning Vlad the Ukrainian met me with a drawing of an airplane and said, "This is what real love is, Mary. I can't explain this, but you have to understand what I'm trying to tell you." He didn't make a lot of sense, but I knew God was pointing something out to me. Who is it I see in airplanes over our house? I figured that we just live by an airport, but maybe there is something more -maybe there is someone who loves me somewhere and I simply cannot see them (like the people in the plane). I try to understand my spiritual brother symbolically.
**Lance introduced me to someone in a hallway saying about me, 'We just call her the new Mother Teresa, except she's prettier...She takes care of all of us and she will teach you to pray if you need it...' I laughed and said, "Lance, Mother Teresa was 80 when she was famous, she was pretty when she was 41 like me..." He drew me a picture of Michaelangelo the Ninja Turtle and told me that I was a hero like he was... but similar to 'the invisible woman' (I don't know my superheros, but he said that if I traveled the world and was never hurt God must have kept me invisible.) These people don't know me, but they are so encouraging and loving in their own simple ways... incredible.
** Once after meeting a random girl for a short period of time she said, "Can I give you my number and we can meet at Panera like you used to with your sisters and we can read books together and you can help me?" She was a woman of the streets. Another one I met ironically was struggling with her husband's affair -she showed me Scripture about forgiveness and asked how to live it practically because she was deeply hurt.
** And often when I feel sick (or even on the streets walking to Mass) random people come up and say, "I've got you! You're like my Mom, my Sister, etc. I'm going to protect you."
** Dimyrus sat with me for an hour one day trying to explain what it was like to draw the perfect picture and said that he wanted to draw me one but was afraid of repeating something in the past (he wanted me to get something exclusive and special). So much thought...
** Or 'Mary, I'm having bad dreams,' a druggy said to me once, 'Can you teach me to pray?' This was God's gift to me... someone who let me love them. And it wasn't the priests, doctors and lawyers of this world -it was the little people. Sometimes they love and help me, and sometimes they are a gift by letting me love and help them. But regardless of who is giving and who is taking, these 'little people' are always smiling and full of joy.
** I remember once getting caught up with some mafia in Russia (real estate guys -its a long story), but after an hour of being stuck in a car with these guys one turned to me and asked me, "How can I get faith like you? Do I have to say a prayer to have faith? Can it be in German, because I don't know Russian prayers, but my grandma taught me one in German? Can I have faith like you if I say a prayer in German? Will it work?"
** One day walking to Mass a straggly man jumped out of a pick-up as I passed his driveway. He called to me and when I looked up he had a brand-new baby in his arms he wanted to give to me (to show me). He was so proud... he said he had six other little ones at home and later when I brought them cookies to celebrate their newest family member, another of his daughters grabbed my hand and ran me over to the tent to show me her little brother sleeping inside. So much love, so much joy, from my little ones... from the Anawim of God.
Its so often the drug addicts and prostitutes trying to start anew who bring me Jesus' treasures.
I can't stop marveling at the goodness of Jesus in this.
And so I was walking home after Mass this afternoon and on my way I stopped at Martin's. After groceries I realized my full hands and aching body (lupus flares again, fiat) did not want to walk home. I bought Johnny flowers for Mass at the cemetery tomorrow and I said to him and Jesus, "Okay, right now if you send someone who knows me to offer a ride I'll actually take it. Can you send someone?" I hardly walked out of the parking lot and a little white car pulled up and rolled down the window and a super awesome black lady hollered, "Its too hot to walk today, jump in I'll give you a ride!" I saw three little grandchildren's heads peeking out at me from the back and knew it was safe and an immediate answer to my prayers. "Thanks!" I said as I got in the car. She said, "We have one stop to make. We've got to drive through McDonald's and get us all ice cream cones -its just too hot!" So I had an awesome ice cream with a random lady on her way home from church with her grandkids. I cannot tell you how happy this lady made me today... just real, tangible, authentic, selfless LOVE. I told her that I had just prayed and she said, "You've gotta be a missionary -I could tell -you are my sister in the Lord!" So beautiful! So so so beautiful. Just so beautiful.
** So often in my life its not the people I expect who help me. I'm not saying anything about unreturned phone calls -But I always go back to being the beaten up, abandoned man on the street in Jesus' parable... And when that happens (no matter where I have been in the world), its not the priests, the doctors, the lawyers who help me -no, they have 'good excuses....' Its the little people. Its the guy who tried to beg a dollar from me today when his bike was stolen (so he could take a trolley home) and I seriously had no money... I said, "I'm not being mean, I really have nothing except this dime -you can have it; but please know I'm really not trying to be mean in only giving you a dime," and he said, "No, I know that you are not mean!" Someone who spoke the truth... He knew that I'm not mean... He said it like a public proclamation and he was so kind...
** Its the random street people (usually drug addicts) who amaze me and show me the face of Jesus - for example when they overheard me one day talking to a group saying, "I hate being so defenseless," they jumped to attention and said, "I'll be like Joseph -I do carpentry -and I will protect you. I don't care what other people say, Mary, I love you. They can all hate you, but I LOVE YOU. You are our Mom, our Sister, our Friend." And they sing all sorts of 'Mary Mary' songs to me: "Mary Mary quite contrary...", "Mary Mary, Why you buggin'?" and "Mary, you're covered in roses...". Yes, I have huge, tattooed drug addict guys who randomly sing to me in the streets sometimes -it seems unreal, but its so real. Its Jesus making a spiritual meal for me out of a couple loaves and fishes... Its Jesus making lemonade out of the lemons of my life. Incredible.
Like the story below of the girl with a meth-laced drink who ended up meeting me and saying Jesus gave her that song 'Blessings' to heal my heart, we all (regardless of circumstances) can be instruments of Love. We can be that Samaritan who was not supposed to be the answer, the one to care for the Jewish man wounded -when the wounded man's own people failed him, the Samaritan stepped up. He just showed up and stepped up to the plate. And Jesus praised him for that. I try to imitate him. A person recently (non-Catholic) had a family member murdered and had strange stuff happening -I sent them to get a Mass and I told them, 'Tell Father if he needs money for the Mass that 'Mary' will pay...' (I'll find the money somewhere.) I try in little things. But these people give God MORE joy than when I do it, I think, because I know better... they are newbees to the life of faith and they love me recklessly... their love is the love of humble, simple, weak anawim.
And so I will end this with another song. We all have to live this song... it is about how each of us (even and especially the 'simple ones') can change the world through little acts, gestures and words of love. This is just real:
"Let your love change the world, one person at a time.
Let your life be the presence, of our Lord Jesus Christ.
As His bread becomes His Body, we can be the living sign.
With God's love change the world, with your life..."
A guitar worth my singing (I had one this nice at one time... donated it to seminarians and never saw it again) -like a Cordoba Fusion 14 Indian Rose Classical Guitar, for example... (I dream):
Or even just a fun ukulele:
Ingredients for my lotion (East/West Shea Butter, Cocoa Butter and Olive Oil):
Good paint for my art (Wow, my Mom actually bought me both of these yesterday! Ask and you shall receive!):
Good Reads (yes, I just want to learn Romanian... I still have a mission with refugees or orphans from Romania yet):
A guest hermitage next door:
Good Coffee:
A French Press:
And maybe a new outfit (nothing crazy):
(Does liking this Coldwater Creek stuff make me an old lady,
because Mom said it did? :) )
Oh... and something to keep writing on...
These are all 'wants' -I have lived (and can live) without them... but wouldn't it be nice to have enough for little wants in life as well as needs? If I had a million dollars...
