In his teaching on women, JPII once wrote that:
'You have to have a gift to be a gift.' [2]
(See below for footnote)

In order for one to live a life of virtue -you have to have (and develop) the gifts that God gives you and be allowed (at least interiorly) to freely give them to others. The only thing that a person cannot do for you is an act of virtue, gift or love. God Himself cannot love for you. You have to be free to love.

I still have that whole book from years ago on womanhood (from the retreats I gave -most of my people remember the Heart of Mary prayer group we had at Notre Dame, the English retreat at our house or the Polish one in Babliniec -or the Russian ones in Kansk/Krasnoyarsk.) Anyone want to help me publish it (even anonymously) please contact me. Its based on my thesis senior year at Notre Dame with McInerny. When we live what God created us to be properly the world is a holy place. Its a synthesis of a bunch of holy people's thoughts.

As Fulton Sheen said: “The more a woman is holy,

the more she becomes a woman.”[1]

---

[1] Sheen, Fulton J. The World’s First Love, Mary the Mother of God, (San Francisco: Ignatius Press, 1952) pp 83

2 “The Catholic Woman, Volume 3 –Wetherfield Institute Proceedings,” (San Francisco: Ignatius Press, 1990) pp. 18.

Aunt Mary Does Not Like Ontological Distortion or Desecration :)

Please don't be afraid of the title, I was just trying to be funny (even while truthful)...
Philosophy 101: (Ontological: relating to the branch of metaphysics dealing with the nature of being. -A new word I have only become familiar with the last few months in prayer.)

I think it was in the Dialogs of Catherine of Siena that God said,  “Do you know, daughter, who you are, And who I am? If you know these two things, you will be blessed. You are she who is not; whereas I am He who is. Have this knowledge in you and the enemy will never deceive you…"

Basically, this means -God is in charge and we are not God.

This isn't just a religious idea (I found it all explained in Aquinas' Summa and maybe Erasmus explained this in His 'Freedom of the Will' as well) -I can't remember Erasmus exactly- but secular philosophy has also argued about what it means to be a human person. I forget my Notre Dame (and Mr. Haas for that matter) philosophy, but I think Plato, Socrates and maybe Origin talked about this. Check with truly smart people in Philosophy departments if you are interested. I only know generalities of philosophy. 

Personal Integrity and Authenticity Has Always Been Important to Me

Dear all,

I have had repeated identity theft, computer hacking, false emails/texts, etc. -this morning I watched again someone get into my account and change everything. It has happened with other computer accounts as well (job sites, banks, gofundme, etc.). Anyone who knows me well (read my blog -I have not  changed) knows that the style, font, organization, etc., that this person uses is nothing like how I think or write. It is so frustrating and against God's gift of interior freedom to have people desecrate a soul -writing, art, speech -one's entire personality -is a gift from God unique not to be tampered with by people without one's consent.  I simply don't want to be ontologically kidnapped from Jesus Christ -the Person (my Brother, Husband, Son, Friend) who formed me to think LIKE HIM for 40 years. We are the sum results of our life experiences never to be repeated. I can actually explain this theologically if you are interested, but this stuff is a crime as well. JPII's 'Person and Act', 'Theology of the Body' 'Memory and Identity' as well as Edith Stein's work on Hegel and phenomenology all explain this in a complicated way. We live it in a simple way. The fingerprints of God on each of our lives is unique like every snowflake, every flower petal, every DNA. You can't have authentic relationships (what it takes for authentic love on any level -friends, family, God) if it is falsified or controlled by another human being or on a computer. This is getting very frustrating... its perpetual stalking. Those I try to contact are cut and those who shouldn't have communication with me stalk. Silly how satan works. I remember years ago when false emails went out a priest contacting me saying that although they even used my 'fiat' it was very obvious the 'voice' wasn't mine. It is frustrating to have one's life controlled by someone trying to take God's place. Its like being a slave. We can change at times, but it is the sum of our actions woven together in a braid through our real life experiences. These things are written in our brains, in our hearts, in our beings. I cannot think of any other solution than to shut down all of my emails (I tried all three and switching my passcodes to foreign words in our alphabet but it still is hacked). I am really sad to do this since phone is not working well and I am basically cut from everyone until I get a job or new donors to be up and out again. Please know that even if false emails are sent out I am going to shut this down. I also have had mail stolen and the post office said someone cancelled my mailing address (you can try to send letters and I would be very happy to communicate with my people like before, but there is a chance someone who is not me has intercepted these.) Please be careful. I will continue to post on my blog which also is hacked but I am able to control somewhat yet. I am so sad to have this ruined... my old emails are gone. Please pray for a miracle. I am going to try a few more things (at times it seems like there are two accounts and my real one isn't hacked but is blocked from me). If I can't get this fixed, I'll have to start an entire new yahoo account again. I will try to fix this before I erase the account... Please pray that those who God desires to reach me are able to physically do so -meet me and sit down for a conversation. Arranging meetings is even difficult with hacked communication. The printers are broken but I think I have photocopies of original important emails. It is heartbreaking to have people who have no business in your life (breaching privacy) destroying your life. But Jesus promises daily to restore and fulfill His original plan. I really need miracles.

Jesus I trust in you.

Mary

Fiat. +

ps. After I posted this I got spiritually body-slammed... I pray we can all hold hands and encourage each other to be authentic in our unique lives.  I need a job that keeps me authentic to Jesus' interior relationship with me and call. I know there is still a place somewhere for Aunty Mary Fiat. + Jesus, I trust in You. +

Every turtle is different:

 So is every leaf:

 So is every nephew:

 So is every grain of sand (and every Johnny for that matter):

We are all called to be a different color, flower, musical note, language, sound, fingerprint in this world... how boring if we were all the same. Even the saints who were twin souls complimented each other through the Holy Spirit. I look at the twins (in our family) or elsewhere I have served -never have I mixed them up -their hearts look different to me. I noticed this with identical twin babies I babysat in 6th grade and I continue to marvel at the innuendos of God's various shades of love written on each human soul. Its these differences that make the beautiful tapestry of the human race and the Body of Christ. Unique persons united to the One God who then Himself unites us in and with and through His Spirit mysteriously.

Its like that little kids song, "If I were a butterfly, I'd thank you Lord for giving me wings.... etc., etc., 
For you gave me a heart and you gave me a smile, you gave me Jesus and you made me Your Child...
BUT I JUST THANK YOU GOD FOR MAKING ME ME... AHUH HUH...!"

Like one good priest always reminded me in the Confessional:
                           BE WHO YOU ARE!!!

Catherine of Sienna: "If we all were who God wanted us to be (not comparing or copying...) we would set the world on fire!"

What about a Eucharistic Nanny job? :)

Wouldn't this be fun to read?

"Seeking a former missionary hermit whose donors no longer donate living a Eucharistically marital life with Jesus Crucified in order to spread His Resurrected Love in Joy to small children while being paid quite well so that later she can go back to the missions founding a house of prayer ministering to the poor and priests and religious coming to her to learn about the Heart of Her Eucharistic Husband Jesus.

Yes, I have experience in high-end formal homes as well (pre-hermit days: note- I only danced with brothers and children under the age of 10). I no longer would ever wear a strapless dress, but I can be formal. Jesus loved Lazarus as much as Zaccheus. Lots of formal children:

Necessary qualifications:
-Honesty (no lying or stealing or back-stabbing)
-20+ years soaking in daily Eucharistic Adoration 5-7 hours
-experience with families and small children of all socio-economic backgrounds, cultures, experiences
-lots of patience, love, creative fun and songs
-a natural teacher
-a clean person who doesn't mind organized chaos when 'life happens'
-attempting to unite all actions of life with the Hearts of Jesus raised on altars 4 times every second throughout the world while radiating Mary's Motherhood and love.
-kind to all people regardless of religious preference, parish choice, or dress code.

Needed language: love

References:
-the Holy Spirit

Must be very familiar with and experienced in saint-driven homes where all aspire to high virtue, humility, integrity, pure intentions, organized but free-spirited, gentle, (not a control freak) and yet with a hard work ethic and cooperative spirit of unity contained in balancing mercy, justice and Fiat when things go differently than perfectly planned for and expected."

I guess I'm just frustrated. Therese of Lisieux made a similar crazy wedding invitation for her vows. I guess we artists think alike.

Jestes Krolem

The glory days of a missionary hermit being creative. 

Someone hacks my job accounts -but without donations I'm at a point I guess I need work to regather funds to keep this stuff going -pray I get a good nanny or mission job (or at least get the communication before its erased) to spread the Aunt Mary love to others. Or at least to buy what I need (my philosophy/theology books).

 

Won't you be my neighbor?

Last fall I found some little neighbor kids trampling around the hill (not these sweet nieces and nephews) -when they saw me they ran off until I called them back. I showed them my prayer chapel -they were Jehovah Witnesses... they asked a few questions about the white ribbon and hung soap to keep the silly deer from eating all of my flowers. They said, 'Wow, Miss, you are really nice. We thought you were strange for this (the anti-deer contraptions)... Can we have a rosary?'

The Eastern idea of the erametical (hermit) life has hospitality as the integral center of the 'poustinik's' prayer. One prays in order to be filled with Jesus and ready to spiritually guide and help those sent to him/her. At times one spends hours alone praying -other times one spends hours serving those seeking assistance. The Holy Spirit alone is the guide to discerning the will of the One to Whom one promised his/her heart. So I pray... a lot still... but I'm also called at times to serve in the world... and there are situations (like when no one is donating or buying icons) that one has to leave the hermit life to gather funds for the next stage or journey. God's ways are not our ways -but He surely (certainly) and concretely guides the heart entrusted 100% to Him. Sometimes God brings people to us (like He did all of those years I was an official hermit) and other times He sends us out to preach the Gospel solely with our lives, our work, our love.

At times the teens needed me:

(These young adults I had to answer for on our trip to Lourdes kept me on my feet -I actually enjoyed the flash mob thing they did in the metro -lucky ducks got hermit Aunt Mary as a chaperone):

 Sometimes we had prayer together a little closer to home (Eucharistic procession day when Grandpa actually wears the African outfit I brought back for him):

Then there's the Notre Dame procession:

And just life at home with kids, music, operations and life in general:

And the random 'help' of friends from Church who had hands full from adopted grandchildren:

See, random hermits are not scary... they have a lot of love from Jesus to share in so many ways with anybody and everybody who allows them. 

Sometimes missionaries, hermits, crazy Aunt Mary's :) are called to live and do things that others might not get at first (like nanny jobs)... But I promise you when you see the unique (artistic as Sr. Tatiana called me) life in 65 more years when I die, hopefully this will make sense. 

Thank you, Jesus, for such a wonderful life. 

Let the dance continue.