God speaks our name and we exist as He intends and desires us to be. "Fiat Mary" -"Let there be Mary" and suddenly Mary came to exist as conceived by the mind and Heart of our Heavenly Father. Communication and words are important... as is a name.
And yet, Jesus remained silent in the face of abuse and accusation; the Father was silent when His children needed Him on Calvary... even in Bethlehem it seemed a great silence enrapped the stable and made the moment more powerful than an all out dinner party for the new baby.
Why does God seem contradictory? He's not... "There is a time for everything" says Ecclesiastics. "A time to be born and a time to die. A time to speak and a time for silence. A time to sow and a time to reap..."
It is the wise one alone who listens constantly to the heartbeat of Jesus who knows when and where and why and how to live.
"Silence is God's first language..."-says St. John of the Cross
The fruit of silence is a life of prayer and union with Him.
But there are spiritual works of mercy when left undone can be sins of omission... there are times when people fear words when those words would/could be used to heal, to unite, to give life.
Who is correct? Mother Teresa, John of the Cross or Catherine of Siena? It depends on the situation and calling of the particular heart, of a particular moment, of God's will for a particular life.
I have come across many strange spiritual gifts in my life -and one that I have because of my over-sensitivity (the pros tell me that its actually a heightened intuition and empathy that God can use) is feeling the spirit of who is speaking or writing to me. A priest laughed at me once because I received a letter from someone 'important' and I said, 'Its strange... the spirit is off... its not like the last one... I don't think he wrote it.' He laughed because I was right on.
I remember another time a priest took the liberty (without my permission -ouch!) to have someone translate some spiritual works for me. I cried and cried and cried -the only explanation I found was that I felt my soul exploited by this woman's pride or something off in the spirit of what had been written. It wasn't what I had said. And it ruined what the priest should have simply explained to me himself.
Words are natural extensions of ourselves, so if something was supposed to be written in love, the same words spoken or written by one who hates may not express what was intended. I remember in Poland giving a week retreat about the Vocation of Women... the theology was deep, intense and new for them. JPII wrote Theology of the Body, but it had not been explained well, especially with the twist I had put on it having to do with women's role in all the vocations. I chose as my translator a simple woman who was a 'little sister' to me -whose faith was deep and who understood my heart. I was reprimanded because her sister had a Master's in English and others at the retreat had spent extensive time in England -thus their English was technically 'better.' I refused to have anyone else translate -because our hearts had been united in the Holy Spirit and we spoke in unison like one heartbeat... and she portrayed the spirit I wanted in that retreat. The others were good people, just not what God needed for those specific hearts. The result was incredible. It wasn't practical for this young mom to find people to care for her children, while her single sister could have 'done the job' -but God's will was that we made this sacrifice and this retreat was life-changing for many people in Poland. I needed Hania for that and Miss Suzie or Mr so and so can't replace the heart and relationship I had with my Hania. That relationship gave life to our words. We spent weeks during naps going over the text and different shades of words that would work best and our love filled in where knowledge lacked.
I see words as capsules... almost like vitamins -where each one contains the spirit, the heart, of the speaker. If we speak words with an intention of deception, jealousy, anger, lust, control -with any negative exterior motive -it simply affects the person listening. But if we speak with love, with kindness, with sincerity, with the Holy Spirit -even imperfect words give life, heal, unite.
Maybe I'm wrong, but its my experience and my Fr. Maxim in Russia told me its actually an important aspect for people to open up in Theology. Jesus was the Word... and that Word healed. We are to speak words that only reflect the Word in all aspects.
Another example has to do with my poor speaking of many languages. I learned quickly in the missions that love is the most important part of any grammatical sentence. In Russia, Fr. D used to tell me that it was incredible -those who loved me always understood my language perfectly. But those who didn't (for various reasons -'too American' -'too praying' -'too beautiful' LORD HAVE MERCY -I WAS FRUMPY!) didn't even understand my basic questions about traffic. In one day I could give a retreat to youth at the parish in perfect Russian and come home to have someone not understand me ask for ketchup at dinner. Its the mystery of love...
Love is an exchange of hearts -its got to be both ways -but only love (authentic) helps people understand each other. I loved both the people in the above example (at a retreat and at the kitchen table), but the second person for some reason wasn't open to it. And so our communication was blocked.
There has to be an openness in love. When I was in Jerusalem, I stayed with French nuns (it was cheapest). I didn't know French, but at breakfast the other residents of the small inn would ask to sit with me and pour their lives out and we had beautiful conversations in French. Then came in the Tahitians... no, I never learned one word in Tahitian, but we communicated through love and some French and they took me for a week paying everything on an extra tour in the North and Coast of Israel (hotel, bus, food)... love really really connected our hearts.
Sit on a train and watch the people come on and off and pray your heart out for them... the response is incredible. Love communicates. Two men got on the last train I took home from Chicago -one was annoyed/angry and the other sad. All I did was look at them with love and the first tried to smile (but seemed mad -I hoped I didn't do something wrong) and the second backed up and smiled again at me. That was it. I loved. Its looking at people with that question in your eyes that says, 'Who are you... tell me your story... do I know you? Can I know you? Are you okay?' Its an exchange of hearts in the eyes... that is what speaking in silence is. But there are also times where a lack of words is actually a sin... a person asks a direct question and you refuse the answer simply to be in control... or think of a baby crying their eyes out, they need to hear you say their name.
So there is a time to be silent and a time to speak. Ask the Holy Spirit to discern when and what to do... He is truly the only guide who knows hearts well enough to knit communication to be how God intends. And if in doubt, dance like the Tahitians :) -not really talking, not really silence, but it could make someone smile.
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