My Cacti Are Growing!!

My cacti are growing! Its so incredible -because I bought two huge rose bushes and put them in big pots with nice soil and they have full sun on my balcony. And I water them everyday -just enough and not too much. 
And they died.
I really love roses, so this makes me sad. 
But not too sad for too long -since it is my little sacrifice to offer for souls and I know that in heaven I will get tons of roses from Jesus. 

But this story is way more interesting than just about my (almost) dead rose bushes (yes, plural, because I was so excited and so sure that my sun was good that I invested in not one, but TWO bushes that I will have to donate to my parents on Pleasant Place.) 
Anyway, the interesting and prophetic twist to this is that I also bought these little cacti (that should have sun) that I leave on my kitchen cupboard (not too close to the window) and lo and behold -they are not only thriving, but growing!! And they are actually growing fast -several inches in the last 6 weeks.
What is God telling me?
Its His lesson (again) to me of the desert rose that I shared with you all last year.
He doesn't want to bring forth fruit in my life in an easy way like with normal roses. He doesn't want me to be spoiled in a lush garden (even spiritually). No -my life is for the desert. My life is the narrow way. My life is step by step after Him -following His bloody footprints. My life is His way of the Cross. But, 'In the place where Jesus was crucified there was a garden." (John 19:41)
He wants desert fruit from me. He wants a neglected plant without water and sun to grow huge and indestructible because of His Grace (for 'His Grace alone is sufficient for me' (2 Corinthians 12:9) and then to give forth tons of little flowers in the end. 
He wants to live Scripture through my plants in order to speak to me. Which is really, really cool. This is what He was is saying to me:

Isaiah 35:1 -Its the desert (and not the lush garden) that springs forth flowers... 

"The wilderness and the dry land shall be gladdened; 

and the desert shall rejoice, and blossom as the rose." 

(Or unlike the rose, since my roses died. :) )

Here's the thing about the desert rose...

St. Therese once called us all flowers. I'll quote her passage at the end of this post. I remember once (about 25 years ago) in prayer telling Jesus that I was a dandelion instead of a rose -and Jesus' answer to my heart was that I was actually more of a desert rose. He didn't call me a champagne rose -He said I grew in the desert like a wild flower without water (except that which deep roots could reach). Now this doesn't mean that I will physically always live in a desert or that I like hot things better than cold. Like a missionary, with the grace of God I can flourish anywhere. This is symbolic. But last year I was greatly surprised when I saw a picture of a desert rose -I always thought it was a little flower hidden in dirt -like a little dirty speck in the desert... I figured I was to be a hidden, little soul thrown under the Cross to make my Savior happy. After 25 years of reflecting on this (wrong :) ), I discovered that in reality these things grow to be 10 feet tall. They are giants in the desert. The root system is complicated, thick and deep. I saw this similar to how over the years Jesus took me on lots of paths, to lots of places, people, etc... it was a big root system.. (mission life).

Then came three years as a hermit where all those seeds and paths came together in one huge main trunk (hermit life) -even more hours of prayer, soaking in the Eucharist, gaining strength... for my people.

And then at the end come beautiful flowers -that's the part of our lives that we see in heaven -that people see from afar. I'm not seeing my flowers quite yet.

Funny as well is that they ''have a very special value to bees..." :) Honey (sweetness) comes from a tough desert flower-tree -Kinda like how when we keep our hearts resting in God's hand and united to His Heart on the Cross, we can give others His sweet drink. I always pray to keep my heart in union with His Sacred Heart and His Mother's Immaculate Heart in the midst of my life in the world.

Basically: what I always wanted to live –

1.) Keep your head (mind) in heaven –(Jesus said, ‘Give me your mind and I’ll make you all heart.’)

2.) Keep your heart on the Cross with Jesus (remembering that there is the fruit of the Holy Spirit in this.)

3.) Keep your feet on the ground (practical –be accessible –hide the complexity of God in the simplicity of love)..

A desert rose is also considered a 'very odd plant' -like me (Sister Tatiana in Russia always called me an 'artistic vocation') and a plant that grows best when neglected...' (I don't really like that part -I mean, Jesus is the best guide, but I appreciate deep, rich relationships).

One more funny thing is that:
"The sap of Adenium boehmianum, A. multiflorum, and A. obesum contains toxic cardiac glycosides and is used as arrow poison throughout Africa for hunting large game."

Maybe the 'sap' of my life's love with Jesus poisons the bad guy... I hope so...

Anyway, its incredible for me to discover a new dimension in my spiritual life -kinda like 'Wow -what in the world are You doing, Jesus... this is different than I thought.'

The lesson: We are all called to be different. What flower or plant are you called to be in God's Garden? Don't try to imitate another person.
Be who you are...

Jesus we trust in You. +

“Jesus deigned to teach me this mystery. He set before me the book of nature; I understood how all the flowers He has created are beautiful, how the splendor of the rose and the whiteness of the Lily do not take away from the perfume of the little violet or the delightful simplicity of the daisy. I understood that if all flowers wanted to be roses, nature would lose her springtime beauty, and the fields would no longer be decked out with little wild flowers.
“And so it is in the world of souls, Jesus’ garden. He willed to create great souls comparable to Lilies and roses, but He has created smaller ones and these must be content to be daisies or violets destined to give joy to God’s glances when He looks down at his feet. Perfection consists in doing His will, in being what He wills us to be.
“….It is with great happiness, then, that I come to sing the mercies of the Lord with you, dear Mother. It is for you alone I am writing the story of the little flower gathered by Jesus.” -St. Therese of Liseux