The Holiness of Womanhood on Kindle

We finally got the Library of Congress number last night -so my book is available on Amazon today as a Kindle Book. If you do read it, please leave a positive review! The physical books are being printed and will be mailed out to those who pre-ordered soon!

Here's the Amazon link.

Although we had to wait for a bit for the Library of Congress number, it was a huge blessing because Monday morning as my babies at my nanny job napped, I pounded out an additional chapter that I regretted not writing about 'Woman as Wife.' You can see the chapters my book covers here... The icon of the 'Maria Bambina' on the first page won't be in color in the print version because its just too expensive to print that way (4-5 x's as expensive), but I will be making prints of my icons available to purchase soon. Come Holy Spirit!!

To purchase a physical copy see here:
https://enroutebooksandmedia.com/holinessofwomanhood/

A Mustard Seed

Today I planted a mustard seed.
Both figuratively and literally. See, I had this little bottle of mustard seeds that I got in Israel and I wondered if it would grow if I planted one. Wouldn’t it be cool to have a mustard tree from Israel? We’ll see...

Today I also planted a figurative mustard seed. Finally, the Library of Congress got back to my publisher after a delay and my book is officially published and printing. It is so small compared to the great works that so many others do in this world. But it's also a powerful little thing -jam-packed full of a lifetime of wisdom gleaned from the Saints and many other Holy people who have gone before me. Let’s see if such a little, unknown seed can grow into a big tree for Jesus where His birds can find rest.

Mustard seeds give me hope. Those of you who actually know me personally know how much I love the virtue of littleness. It was part of my name as a hermit – the little one – and it's something I've talked about extensively in my podcasts. But more than anything, I have tried to live the virtue of littleness all of these years. Both as an obscure missionary as well as a hermit, I always found great hope in knowing that my life of littleness would bear great fruit if it was tucked inside of the fiery furnace of the Heart of Jesus’ love. His Will and Love can bear great fruit in my nothingness- isn’t that amazing? And so this book which I wrote for Our Lady and with Out Lady under Her shadow and Her inspiration I hope bears fruit for Her because of Jesus’ grace and that it forms an abundance of holy souls like flowers to give glory to God in heaven.

My podcasts are the same way. There are no big numbers of people listening to them. Instead they are little seeds hidden in the hearts of the few people who God leads to listen to them. Yet in this littleness God can do great things.

Our lives are like these flowers I found on my walk tonight as well. Wrapped up in a hidden ball, there's all sorts of potential. And it's only under the lamp of God's love and the nutrients He gives us that we're able to bloom into something awesome to glorify Him. It’s in His time and in His way that we open.

I pray that He can do miracles with my mustard seeds today.
#mustardseed #fiat #godsflower #faith #littleness

My book is here:
https://enroutebooksandmedia.com/holinessofwomanhood/

Episode 17: God's Great Gift of Suffering

Please click the link below to listen to my entire new program this week on GOD’S GREAT GIFT OF SUFFERING.

“Jesus imposes suffering on us according to our measure of love.” -St. John of the Cross

With all of the sufferings both big and small in this world, my sister asked me to do a podcast about suffering as a gift and using it as a prayer. And so here it is!

Description: In this episode, Mary explains what a great gift it is from God when we are allowed to suffer with Him. By using our suffering as a prayer and offering it to God in Love (whether it be little inconveniences or tremendous crosses), we can find union with the Heart of Jesus and great graces can be given to others. Mary discusses how and why the saints treasured suffering and inspires the listener to surrender to their crosses and utilize this powerful form of prayer.
Please LISTEN, LIKE and SHARE.

My Cacti Are Growing!!

My cacti are growing! Its so incredible -because I bought two huge rose bushes and put them in big pots with nice soil and they have full sun on my balcony. And I water them everyday -just enough and not too much. 
And they died.
I really love roses, so this makes me sad. 
But not too sad for too long -since it is my little sacrifice to offer for souls and I know that in heaven I will get tons of roses from Jesus. 

But this story is way more interesting than just about my (almost) dead rose bushes (yes, plural, because I was so excited and so sure that my sun was good that I invested in not one, but TWO bushes that I will have to donate to my parents on Pleasant Place.) 
Anyway, the interesting and prophetic twist to this is that I also bought these little cacti (that should have sun) that I leave on my kitchen cupboard (not too close to the window) and lo and behold -they are not only thriving, but growing!! And they are actually growing fast -several inches in the last 6 weeks.
What is God telling me?
Its His lesson (again) to me of the desert rose that I shared with you all last year.
He doesn't want to bring forth fruit in my life in an easy way like with normal roses. He doesn't want me to be spoiled in a lush garden (even spiritually). No -my life is for the desert. My life is the narrow way. My life is step by step after Him -following His bloody footprints. My life is His way of the Cross. But, 'In the place where Jesus was crucified there was a garden." (John 19:41)
He wants desert fruit from me. He wants a neglected plant without water and sun to grow huge and indestructible because of His Grace (for 'His Grace alone is sufficient for me' (2 Corinthians 12:9) and then to give forth tons of little flowers in the end. 
He wants to live Scripture through my plants in order to speak to me. Which is really, really cool. This is what He was is saying to me:

Isaiah 35:1 -Its the desert (and not the lush garden) that springs forth flowers... 

"The wilderness and the dry land shall be gladdened; 

and the desert shall rejoice, and blossom as the rose." 

(Or unlike the rose, since my roses died. :) )

Here's the thing about the desert rose...

St. Therese once called us all flowers. I'll quote her passage at the end of this post. I remember once (about 25 years ago) in prayer telling Jesus that I was a dandelion instead of a rose -and Jesus' answer to my heart was that I was actually more of a desert rose. He didn't call me a champagne rose -He said I grew in the desert like a wild flower without water (except that which deep roots could reach). Now this doesn't mean that I will physically always live in a desert or that I like hot things better than cold. Like a missionary, with the grace of God I can flourish anywhere. This is symbolic. But last year I was greatly surprised when I saw a picture of a desert rose -I always thought it was a little flower hidden in dirt -like a little dirty speck in the desert... I figured I was to be a hidden, little soul thrown under the Cross to make my Savior happy. After 25 years of reflecting on this (wrong :) ), I discovered that in reality these things grow to be 10 feet tall. They are giants in the desert. The root system is complicated, thick and deep. I saw this similar to how over the years Jesus took me on lots of paths, to lots of places, people, etc... it was a big root system.. (mission life).

Then came three years as a hermit where all those seeds and paths came together in one huge main trunk (hermit life) -even more hours of prayer, soaking in the Eucharist, gaining strength... for my people.

And then at the end come beautiful flowers -that's the part of our lives that we see in heaven -that people see from afar. I'm not seeing my flowers quite yet.

Funny as well is that they ''have a very special value to bees..." :) Honey (sweetness) comes from a tough desert flower-tree -Kinda like how when we keep our hearts resting in God's hand and united to His Heart on the Cross, we can give others His sweet drink. I always pray to keep my heart in union with His Sacred Heart and His Mother's Immaculate Heart in the midst of my life in the world.

Basically: what I always wanted to live –

1.) Keep your head (mind) in heaven –(Jesus said, ‘Give me your mind and I’ll make you all heart.’)

2.) Keep your heart on the Cross with Jesus (remembering that there is the fruit of the Holy Spirit in this.)

3.) Keep your feet on the ground (practical –be accessible –hide the complexity of God in the simplicity of love)..

A desert rose is also considered a 'very odd plant' -like me (Sister Tatiana in Russia always called me an 'artistic vocation') and a plant that grows best when neglected...' (I don't really like that part -I mean, Jesus is the best guide, but I appreciate deep, rich relationships).

One more funny thing is that:
"The sap of Adenium boehmianum, A. multiflorum, and A. obesum contains toxic cardiac glycosides and is used as arrow poison throughout Africa for hunting large game."

Maybe the 'sap' of my life's love with Jesus poisons the bad guy... I hope so...

Anyway, its incredible for me to discover a new dimension in my spiritual life -kinda like 'Wow -what in the world are You doing, Jesus... this is different than I thought.'

The lesson: We are all called to be different. What flower or plant are you called to be in God's Garden? Don't try to imitate another person.
Be who you are...

Jesus we trust in You. +

“Jesus deigned to teach me this mystery. He set before me the book of nature; I understood how all the flowers He has created are beautiful, how the splendor of the rose and the whiteness of the Lily do not take away from the perfume of the little violet or the delightful simplicity of the daisy. I understood that if all flowers wanted to be roses, nature would lose her springtime beauty, and the fields would no longer be decked out with little wild flowers.
“And so it is in the world of souls, Jesus’ garden. He willed to create great souls comparable to Lilies and roses, but He has created smaller ones and these must be content to be daisies or violets destined to give joy to God’s glances when He looks down at his feet. Perfection consists in doing His will, in being what He wills us to be.
“….It is with great happiness, then, that I come to sing the mercies of the Lord with you, dear Mother. It is for you alone I am writing the story of the little flower gathered by Jesus.” -St. Therese of Liseux

Episode 16: The Russian Mission

THE RUSSIAN MISSION
In Fatima Our Lady said, “"God wishes to establish in the world devotion to my Immaculate Heart. If what I say to you is done, many souls will be saved and there will be peace... God is about to punish the world for its crimes, by means of war, famine, and persecutions of the Church and of the Holy Father. To prevent this, I shall come to ask for the consecration of Russia to my Immaculate Heart. If my requests are heeded, Russia will be converted, and there will be peace. If not, she will spread her errors throughout the world, causing wars and persecutions of the Church. The good will be martyred, the Holy Father will have much to suffer, various nations will be annihilated. In the end, my Immaculate Heart will triumph. The Holy Father will consecrate Russia to me, and she will be converted, and a period of peace will be granted to the world."

Pope John Paul II was a very great saint whose life was spared by Our Lady of Fatima when he was shot. Yes, he fulfilled Our Lady’s request. Russia was consecrated. And so, we can all wait in joyful hope for the Triumph of the Immaculate Heart.

I have spent a lifetime praying for Russia and serving her people. I wrote a book that will be published next year on my experiences titled “A Heart Frozen in the Wilderness.” I have visited and served in St. Petersburg, the Moscow region (both in the West), as well as Vladivostok and many years both living in and visiting the Krasnoyarsk-Irkutsk area (Eastern Siberia). For now, here are some of my experiences. Please LISTEN and SHARE.

Title: The Russian Mission
Description: In this episode, Mary describes her multifaceted mission work in Russia. She talks about her experiences near Moscow in 1994, as well as in Siberia from 2001-2003 and during her short visits back over several years. She describes the suffering of the Russian people under Communism, the depth of the Russian heart and the great miracles she witnessed there that point strongly to the Triumph of Our Lady’s Immaculate Heart.

An Interview About My New Book, "The Holiness of Womanhood"

I was blessed to spend an hour this morning speaking with Dr. Cynthia Toolin-Wilson, who is the Chief Academic Officer, Academic Dean of Online Learning and Professor of Dogmatic and Moral Theology at Holy Apostles College & Seminary, as well as the host of a WCAT radio program called "Author to Author." It was especially fun this morning talking with her about my new book, "The Holiness of Womanhood", considering that she is a former radical feminist (in a negative way) before converting to Catholicism, learning the true teachings of the Catholic Church and eventually becoming a theologian. It was amazing to hear how seeing a statue of Our Lady of Sorrows in Rome turned her heart to the Church. I, too, have prayed at the feet of that exact statue. And it is so beautiful to see how Our Mother's Tears, once again, drew a wayward daughter back to the Heart of Her Son's Church. We discovered that our circle of friends overlapped quite a bit -and I was especially excited to hear that she knew Professor Ralph McInerny well (who was the impetus behind my original work on the vocation of women).

In this interview I explain the history behind my writing of this book, as well as a summary of each of the chapters. We speak about the state of the world and the heart of modern women as well. She was particularly touched by my artwork -both the icon on the cover of the Immaculate (and Sorrowful) Heart of Mary and the icon on the front page (of the Infant Maria Bambina surrounded by the Desert Rose tree -a tree that has fierce roots and a thick trunk growing to be 10-15 feet tall in the desert before blooming forth wonderful flowers. Our Lady, too, had to have profound roots of Her Heart in God in order to blossom forth such miraculous love in our desert world).
Please LISTEN to this interview and SHARE it with anyone who might be interested. And please order your own copy of the book at this link (it is still 30% off pre-order this weekend):

https://enroutebooksandmedia.com/holinessofwomanhood/

https://www.spreaker.com/…/wcat-radio-author-to-author-0718…

The Great Providence of God...

So the other evening my Mom told me about this bird's nest that was in her hanging tomato plant. She had been careful not to fertilize her tomatoes so as not to harm the eggs and she said that my Dad had reported that the eggs had hatched, yet she was too short to see them. So I went out with my camera to take a picture to show her and low and behold, I caught the very last one jumping out of the nest. My Dad was concerned because he was too little to actually fly, but we looked for him on the ground to put him back into the nest and he was gone. 

I couldn't help think about the scripture passages where God speaks about taking care of the little sparrows and the little ravens. Surely, our good God would look after this tiny little bird that had escaped a bit too early. 

"Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important than they?" (Mt 6:26)

6"Are not five sparrows sold for two small coins? Yet not one of them has escaped the notice of God.7Even the hairs of your head have all been counted. Do not be afraid. You are worth more than many sparrows." (Lk 12:6-7)

And then I went home and I saw that my hibiscus tree was finally blooming. This, too, is a miracle!

See, my plants are often neglected, or (at best) poorly cared for. I absolutely love gardening! But gardening on a balcony is not the same as gardening around my Hermitage. And my poor plants have too small of pots for their large roots, and are often over watered or under watered since it's hard to measure what goes on on that balcony. Yet, somehow mysteriously, my hibiscus tree does an incredible job blooming forth these gorgeous flowers. They look like fire- bright yellow, with orange and red swirled within. And I think once again about the Bible passages saying how God clothes the flowers of the field. 

"Why are you anxious about clothes? Learn from the way the wild flowers grow. They do not work or spin.29But I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was clothed like one of them.30If God so clothes the grass of the field, which grows today and is thrown into the oven tomorrow, will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith? (Mt 6:28-30)

Well, He takes care of birds and He takes care of flowers, and that same God will surely take care of me! God has provided incredibly for me over the years (for more information on this, see my podcast on Divine Providence). And He has done it again for me this year. 

It was pretty clear at the end of last year that I was not to stay in downtown Chicago working near the Magnificent Mile as a nanny anymore. Between the transit, and the crowds, and the city lifestyle in general, I was completely drained and He wanted to call me back home towards Elkhart. And God provided in incredible ways for me coming home without a solid job in place. As He often takes little scraps of cloth to make the most beautiful quilt or tapestry, He found little things for me here and there that He wove in to a beautiful blanket of my life this past year. In fact, I ended up working 80 hours a week in December, January and February. I had my normal different nanny jobs during the day, and a family hired me to help with their newborn twins at night. And unlike normal night nannying, they allowed for me to sleep while the babies slept -so I would get five or six hours of sleep at night, which was enough to work then during the day. And yet I prayed for something more stable and constant. And God again has provided me with a very solid job for this upcoming year. For this I am very grateful. 

I have to mention that I also owe the success of my job search to a little lady named St. Xenia of Petersburg. She is an Orthodox saint. Whenever I order icons from Greece or Russia or the Ukraine, the stores often send me a free one on top of the package -and it has always been very providential for me. Once when I was very active in the healing and exorcism ministry, a random priest in Greece sent me an icon of St. Anastasia, exorcist and healer! She quickly became my good friend. Well, this year I received an icon of St. Xenia of Petersburg. She is the patron saint of people needing to 'arrange things with job or business matters.' Every day I would kiss her icon and lay it on my top pillow after I made my bed in the morning and say, 'Xenia! Please help me!' And she has... the past two weeks (after securing a good nanny contract) I still lay her on my pillow, but instead of calling her in a frustrated voice, I simply say, 'Thank you.' 

So, this post leaves you with two thoughts. One... the intercession of the saints works, even when the saints you choose are random (or maybe especially because of that because they aren't so busy as the more famous ones 😇). And secondly, trust your Heavenly Father's plan (even when you don't see His Hand holding on to you)... if He takes care of little birds and flowers, He will always take care of you. God is the great Artist and He is very industrious. Because of this

He can take even little 'scraps' of what seems useless in your life and make it into a beautiful quilt or tapestry or work of art! 

Dependence on God (Luke 12:22-34)
"He said to [his] disciples, “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life and what you will eat, or about your body and what you will wear.
For life is more than food and the body more than clothing.
Notice the ravens: they do not sow or reap; they have neither storehouse nor barn, yet God feeds them. How much more important are you than birds!
Can any of you by worrying add a moment to your life-span?
If even the smallest things are beyond your control, why are you anxious about the rest?
Notice how the flowers grow. They do not toil or spin. But I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of them.
If God so clothes the grass in the field that grows today and is thrown into the oven tomorrow, will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith?
As for you, do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, and do not worry anymore. All the nations of the world seek for these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Instead, seek his kingdom, and these other things will be given you besides.
Do not be afraid any longer, little flock, for your Father is pleased to give you the kingdom. Sell your belongings and give alms. Provide money bags for yourselves that do not wear out, an inexhaustible treasure in heaven that no thief can reach nor moth destroy.
For where your treasure is, there also will your heart be."

Episode 15: Spiritual Motherhood and Spiritual Motherhood of Priests

My new podcast is on SPIRITUAL MOTHERHOOD and SPIRITUAL MOTHERHOOD of PRIESTS- two things that I have lived profoundly throughout my life.
Please LISTEN, SHARE and LIVE!💐🌸🌼🌹

“Motherhood involves a special communion with the mystery of life, as it develops in the woman’s womb... this unique contact with the new human being developing within her gives rise to an attitude towards human beings, not only towards her own child, but every human being.” -Saint Pope John Paul II, “Mulieris Dignitatem”

Title: Spiritual Motherhood and Spiritual Motherhood of Priests
Description: In this episode, Mary talks about the vocation of motherhood written into every woman’s being. This includes receiving, nurturing, giving and protecting life physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. She especially focuses on the special vocation of spiritual motherhood of priests and she presents examples of saintly women who have dedicated their lives to prayer and suffering of this nature.

Episode 14 -Fear, Worry, Trust and Confidence

"Do not be afraid!!!" -Pope John Paul II said at the beginning of his pontificate.
And St. Augustine said that 'Fear is the Enemy of Love.'

Scripture says 365 times 'Do not fear.' And in order to cast out fear, we simply need to increase our love. "Perfect Love casts out fear." (1 John 4:18) We simply must ask God to pour out greater graces of love upon us -and make sure that we have gone to Confession and removed any obstacles to His grace -in order for His peace to take root in our hearts, even in struggles, even in darkness, even when our emotions might be upset.