A Little Corner of Mary's Fiat Life

Originally from: THURSDAY, MAY 28, 2009

A Little Corner of Mary's Life...

Hi.

Um... well, I think I should write something about my life -since this is the primary form of family communication (when you have 75 immediate family relatives -not to mention extended family, friends and other interested people). Even when I try to let people know about when I come and when I go -inevitably someone gets missed and I don't want that.

Yet I do have a Confession to make -blogs are like the anti-Mary. I mean, I do understand that they can be used for great good -to inform people, connect people, inspire people. But secretly it is very difficult for me to write anything on them. There is always this difficult balance for me to find between talking about myself (which really isn't going to help anyone) and sharing enough of my life so people don't think I'm being 'secretive.' If someone can find something edifying or helpful for their souls within my words, I truly do want them to come and drink. But contrary to popular belief, I really think my life is quite ordinary and therefore nothing worth glamorizing. Its annoying to me when I see people try to 'Hollywoodize' their lives -and so really I would rather that people not think of my life as anything spectacular. Its just the truth of little 'ole me in the Light of God. It is true that sometimes my experiences seem exciting to others -but anything fascinating in my life is a dim shadow of God's Wondrous Presence -and people would really do themselves better by forgetting me and focusing directly on Him. I'm just one little trillianth of His great work and Love in creation -many more people before, now and after me have been and will be created, beloved and called by Him to lives with Him equally full of His Love.

I also don't like blogs because I think there are simply too many words in the world today. Once again, I can admit readily that much good has come from instant communication and 'global networking.' I could never serve God as He has asked of me without the internet (arranging travel, keeping contact with people throughout the world, etc...) I could never have been spiritually formed as deeply as God has done without the internet. But it seems like people have filled every hole of earthly existence with words -everyone has an opinion or story or teaching to 'tell the world' through their blog, facebook, youtube video, advertisement -not to mention tv, radio, etc. etc. etc. And with so many frivelous words filling people's lives, how can important words have weight to touch and change hearts -often they are heard only as 'one of the millions of words' spoken or listened to daily. So, I've learned the power of silent Love as a stronger force to speak to people's hearts. And in general I prefer The Word to my words -for only The Word is loud enough (even in His Silence) to drown out the noise of this world and lead people Home.

BUT... regardless of these conflicting thoughts in my heart -necessity drives me to share a bit about my life here -and because I do it out of love for you all, I hope this Love transfers more to you than pure information. 

As some of you know, God blessed me deeply the past several months with time alone with Him in total solitude, silence and prayer in a hermitage. The graces Jesus was able to feed me truly are unfathomable. When you have nothing but Him, you quickly realize you need absolutely nothing in life but Him. These months Jesus used to help me 'find my swing' again (as you golfers understand is a very important thing to do from time to time). Yet God did not call me to hide away in the solitude of His Love and Embrace -but instead to carry Him bleeding in my heart to the world so that His crucified Love can touch and heal it. So... it is time for me to pilgrim on again.

What God has arranged for me the next few months makes me dizzy. Its so funny that He calls me to travel so much with Him -considering my natural lack of ability to maneuver through the really complicated world, as well as my over-sensitivity to travel sickness. Yet I see this as a great gift. My 'lostness' in this world (not always understanding how to do adult things such as plan travel, etc..) makes me the weakest little sheep in His arms. 

He has to do everything for me because I simply cannot do anything alone anymore. And the sickness is precisely the gift I offer all those I visit -it is the least I can offer for them to comfort their lives so often filled with real struggle and pain. I know I should share some of my plans and life with you all, because I realize it is not 'my mission work' that I do -but instead the 'mission work of Jesus' Church' which He simply allows for me to partake in. And this work includes you.

We are all missionaries -every encounter we have with people is an opportunity to be a missionary of Love -whether it is people at work, the little souls formed at home to love and serve Jesus, people in stores, the police that might pull you over... etc. And any time we are not with people, we are called to be missionaries of love through prayer and sacrifice -offering every moment of our lives to Him Who called us to be His disciples -in order to help our brothers and sisters in the world. Every member of the Church has a responsibility to somehow be a missionary to 'suffering others' -especially those far away and forgotten. Most people do this through prayer, donations of money to those who travel to the far-away missions and by forming their families to be 'missionary minded.' Yet a few God calls like me to depend on your help (through prayer, money and time- see 'Go Fund Me Page') in order to physically take His Love to those who need it most. And so as I share with you my plans for the next few months -I am entrusting this time to you as part of Jesus' 'mission Church.' I need you to pray for those I meet. I myself don't know what to say to people, how to love them, how Jesus wants me to serve -strictly or gently, words or silence, sacrifice or trust -every soul needs something different and so I desperately need the Holy Spirit. This you can give me by your prayers -it is not for myself, but so that I can give Him in turn to those who have nothing else in life but His Love. This world is so full of broken hearts. I no longer watch the news or read the paper because there is a lot of trash to sort through and I just am not smart enough to do it. But the more I ignore the world's noise, the more clearly Jesus shows me broken hearts everywhere I go -hearts broken by misunderstanding, pride, selfishness, money, jealousy, judgmentalness, desire to control or for power or to be 'important and popular', alcoholism, lust, abandonment, abuse, laziness -I meet hurt in marriages, in children, weakness or doubt in priests and religious, worry and so many many lost and lukewarm souls. Everyone has a broken heart in one way or another -broken by sin, weakness, wounds, temptations... if you can't see it then you just need to scoot closer to the Light. Everyone needs a Savior. Everyone needs the embrace of His Heart around their own.

My job -OUR job -in life is just to be a light in the darkness by LOVE: 

(Yes, a real unaltered picture from my hermitage -sort of makes me wonder if Jesus' Eucharistic Presence does come from His Heart for me in a spiritual way...)

-to give people hope by reminding them that Jesus said:

"Ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find..."

"Forgive.. do not judge... happy are the peacemakers... err on the side of mercy... pray, pray, pray..."

"Hope, believe, Love and know that heaven awaits you with all the glory you never had on earth... where your stomach will not growl, your eyes not tear, your teeth not chatter from cold..."

"Come to Me and I will give you rest!"

Everyone has darkness at times, but those I visit either do not even know of the tools they need to endure the darkness -or are missionaries who no longer have strength to continue on (and I go simply to encourage them through love.)

I need your prayer to help me do that.

I cannot explain to you what it is like to visit a place where there is no light. Yes, it is true that there are many people here in the US who suffer and need love... too many people for one person to serve them all. Its funny how people love to use this as an objection to my life -why would I not stay here to help people? Primarily it is because it is not God's will -and I need no reason other than that. And yet for those whose faith cannot accept without understanding, I will explain that the suffering people here have YOU... and where I go, they have no one. I must 'go out into the deep' -where others would hesitate -to those who have not been blessed with family, Church, and the many gifts available to people in our country. I must 'climb into the pit' to love them too... for they are no less my brothers and sisters than you all are.

I was absolutely amazed today when the doorbell rang and a lady I know from church was standing there with a small handful of money. I know Jesus knows what I need -and so although I never ask people for financial help, I also hesitate to ask Him... I prefer the road of absolute trust. I'm His wife, He knows what I need... and I must trust Him. Yet my great needs for this summer were passing before my heart as I prayed and I just threw them at Him. Then the doorbell rang -and there stood this truly holy woman who has been suffering greatly from cancer. She was recently released from the hospital and on her way home from her first new chemo treatment they were trying. She has very little in life -and yet a heart so full of love and fiat. She said to me that she knew I desperately needed money to complete my travel this summer. I can sacrifice not eating or sleeping outside, in airports or on concrete floors -but unfortunately I still need money to get from here to there. And so she -who we all should be serving as her cross and suffering are great -was standing at my door to console me through her gift -and through it to console Jesus and all the hearts He had prepared for me to bring to Him this summer. She is a missionary like no other -for she prays, she suffers and she offers what she can to help those most in need. She really inspired me. And she died shortly after this visit, having offered her life for her un-Catholic husband to convert... really beautiful. Click here for Bobby's original post. She believed in me:

And so, I leave on June 9th for the Philippines for 2 weeks. It will take me almost 3 days to get there -because I could not afford a more direct ticket. I will be visiting a French Mission where Tomek from Poland is serving. They live in the poorest place of Manila -praying in the morning and spending their afternoons helping the street children (some who live under bridges, etc.), visiting jails, and just loving people.

 

I will then spend the next 2 months: in Poland, 4 weeks in Russia and a very short weekend in France for the ordination of my hermit friends (a kind, old friend from Notre Dame sent me a ticket so I could be there and meet with all the old 'Children of Mary' people -it will be a prayer reunion.) France:

 Poland:

Russia:

Who said communist Russia wasn't funny?:

Next post I'll write about my Vanya and Kyril... two of my spiritual sons...

There are many people I will meet along the way with many different needs. I don't ask for prayers for myself -I'm sure Jesus will care for me and really what can I fear or need if I embrace suffering as a gift? I only ask for your prayers for those I meet. In this way, we can all be missionaries together -and somehow as I sow your seeds of love and prayer around the earth, new flowers of His Kingdom will begin to sprout in the darkness. These flowers we might not see, but we know and trust that they bloom from His Love... for His Love always bears fruit.

I ask you to please check back in the next week or so, as an opportunity has opened to to perhaps open a House of Prayer among the poor and (CLICK HERE:) I would definitely need financial support for that as well... consider it an extension of my hermitage. Jesus we trust in You. + Fiat. +

Sometimes I feel like this: 'Where did everybody go?'

Hermitage Resurrected...

Its resurrected... sometimes Jesus is so beautiful... no Blessed Sacrament, but I put my old pix there to remind me that His Heart is the Eucharist and is beyond time and space... if angels brought the Eucharist to the children at Fatima, Jesus can make His presence available through many means...

St. Francis, John of the Cross and a Little Therese (Teresa of Avila and two other saints are with John but you can't see them well)...

My angel guardians...

Our Lady of Perpetual Help is the patron of those who have really lost their way... but Jesus and Mary are my way...

And just happened to kill two snakes in the process (although they were by the house while I was cleaning stuff for Mom&Dad -ironically, I've never seen one up by my hermitage in the woods)...

Another irony, now that this is set up perfect, a kind person offered a house where I could start fixing it up as a prayer house among the poor... it would really be helpful now to have a car so I could get back here for retreat/prayer as I try to start something similar for the poor. 

Info on GoFundMe (click there)

Jesus, we trust in You. +

My 'Tanzania Story' about Divine Providence -How God ALWAYS Used to Provide for Me

originally TUESDAY, JUNE 15, 2010

My 'Tanzania Story' about God's Providence

So, for about two years Jesus has been speaking to me in prayer about ‘Tanzania,’ and especially the AIDS babies there. After a long series of events, two specific orphanages run by religious sisters were ‘pointed out to me’ and I’ve had them bookmarked on my computer for about two years. Each time ‘Tanzania’ comes back to my heart, I keep giving it back to Jesus, asking Him to really make clear His will and push me to do it if He so desires.

This past February Jesus strongly put this mission (along with sisters working with AIDS babies in Lesthoto or South Africa) back in my heart. I remember receiving something in prayer about ‘caring for My children in Africa’ and I assumed that Jesus simply wanted me to help them somehow. Because my life is given as a sacrifice for priests in a particular way, I decided that I had to do something more for not only ‘African orphans’ –but one who would also someday be a priest. I scrounged together the last money I could find (in my room and bank account) and spent it all on ‘sponsoring a child’ through Christian Foundation for Children and Aging –but I specifically asked for an African boy who was very young (and I asked Jesus to make sure it was someone who would be called to the priesthood someday.) I received little Edgar from Kenya –and fell in love immediately:

But after this all settled down, Jesus began pushing my heart even harder in the same direction as before: “No, I want you to GO to My children in Africa.” Those who might not know or remember my experience in Nigeria will not understand how difficult this request of Jesus’ was for me in a physical/mental way. I know what Africa means –not in the way tourist or school groups travel –but the way a poor, lonely missionary travels. It means rats, snakes and cockroaches in my room. It means complete misunderstanding by those around me (for my experience was that the Africans understood my way of thinking much less than the Europeans who did not speak my language). And if I go, I go to love completely as Jesus did on the Cross –which means exposure to the poorest of the poor there, to disease, parasites, dirty water (if there is water), etc. So, in my emotions I did not jump at Jesus’ request. But luckily God does not look at our emotions -He looks at our will to love.

And so, as Jesus' desire for me began to grow a little clearer, I mustered with all my heart’s will, love and smile and simply said, ‘Jesus, if YOU want this –YES! Fiat! I want it. I want to forget my body, comfort, health, etc. to obey and go serve those who You love, the tiniest victims in this world, needing the greatest love (these AIDS orphans), etc… If this is Your will, Yes. Make it happen. But only if You want it. Because if this is not Your will, I will never be able to handle all this.’ I asked Jesus for one concrete confirmation, though. I was going to a talk given by a priest on the vices of anger, envy and greed. I told Jesus I would go only if that priest said something about Africa that night. Well, when this priest began his talk, I heard him speak about East Africa –and the disgusting parasites that get into people’s bodies from the water. I laughed out loud to myself –not only that Jesus answered me so clearly ‘in my face,’ but that He used the very fears I had (parasites) to confirm His will to me. In this I heard Him speak again, asking as He had many times before about things in my life: ‘Do you love Me ENOUGH to even do this?’ And once again I said, simply, ‘Yes.’

(Later, I may note, this priest told my sister that he did not talk about Africa that night –he spoke about the Amazon –but he was not surprised that I had heard ‘East Africa,’ for he said many times people have told him that they hear something from the Holy Spirit through him which he actually did not say.)
So, this confirmed beyond a doubt in my heart that Jesus wanted something more from me for Tanzania -most probably to GO there in a more physical way than I had planned. How, why, when (I felt like He gave me a schedule for this fall, but I was not sure) were all things He would have to ‘work out.’ I had no connections and absolutely no money for the trip (and although at times I don’t eat and I sleep in airports or train stations, etc. I still need quite a bit of money for plane tickets).

So, this was all on the ‘back-burner’ of my mind. I was waiting for Jesus to act –but I was not telling people about it (as always) until it was a ‘done deal’. But this story is so cool, I have to share it now….

So, a few weeks ago on a Thursday Amy came to have coffee with me. As she was leaving she asked me, ‘How can I pray for you, Mary?’ and I blurted out (not pre-meditated) ‘For $5000 for Tanzania.’ She was confused and I just said, ‘That is what you can pray for.’ (That is the money I would need for Tanzania, South Africa and Russia’s plane tickets, visas, etc.) So, as she was pulling out of the driveway, Dad and Mom pulled in and Mom ran inside to get something before they left for Rome City (the Shrine of Our Lady of America). There was a group coming for healing prayers with Dad that day. He rolled down his window and asked, ‘Are you sure you don’t want to come?’ I quickly answered ‘no,’ for I was looking forward to a silent, empty house. Then he added, ‘There are going to be 14 African missionary priests there.’ Wow. I heard Jesus say, ‘Go!’ in my heart, so I ran inside, threw on shoes, grabbed my coffee from the microwave and was off. My intention for going was very far from Tanzania. I had spent 3 months in Nigeria, and in general in America most African Missionary priests are Nigerian (there is one in every parish in New York, I have been told). I figured they would love to hear about where I had been, and vice versa.

When we arrived, the priests were finishing their meeting and one of them stood up and spoke to a small group who was also visiting the shrine that day. He said, ‘I think you also should know a little about us as well. We are from an order that began in Germany, but now we are centered out of MOSHI, TANZANIA!’ My heart began to pound. Moshi, Tanzania: that was where one of the orphanages that I had been trying to contact was located. I approached a group of these priests at a break, introduced myself and told them that Jesus had strongly been guiding me to visit Moshi, Tanzania as my next mission –especially to work with the AIDS babies in an orphanage run by sisters. I asked them simply for their prayers for my endeavor. One of them said to me, ‘Oh, you must speak to Fr. Teo over there. His blood sister is a religious sister with the Missionary Sisters of the Most Precious Blood and they run the Upendo Orphanage in Moshi.’ I was in total shock. For two years I had had the Upendo Children’s Home in Moshi bookmarked on my computer. I asked them for contact information (as no one responded to the info. I had found). Father Teo did not have any, and so I gave him my e-mail. But three minutes later Fr. Teo walked up to me with another priest, Fr. Camilius who said to me, “I visited the Upendo Children’s Home with 10 Americans from Idaho a year and a half ago. Fr. Teo’s sister gave me this contact information for them, and for some reason for the last year and a half I’ve been carrying this paper with me in my pocket. It must be for you." So he gave me the information!

Now, out of all of the countries in the world, and all the cities in the country of Tanzania, and all the orphanages in Moshi –God planned for me to meet these priests and therefore two years ago put this exact orphanage in my heart and prayers. You just cannot make up a story like this or write it off to ‘chance.’

So, am I going to Tanzania? We will see. God has a funny way of working things out –but He also loves to stretch my heart, my trust, my fiat as wide as His Own on the Cross –so I must just do what I can and keep trying to surrender to Him in trust. What I’ve learned is that I truly know nothing before it happens. It sure seems to me that Jesus is pointing me in that direction for a month or so in September or October –but ultimately maybe He just wants my prayers for them, or maybe He just wants my exercise of trust. So, fiat.

I have already been given part of the money I would need for such a trip -but I have not received confirmation from the sisters over there. Truly, whether I physically go to Tanzania or not does not matter -it is obvious that God has tied my heart to this mission in a special way, and we are united in prayer regardless if we will ever meet on earth. I do ask for your prayers that God's will be done. I'm so incredibly weak these days, Jesus Himself would have to plan and care for all things for me. I have strength to fiat, and that's about it.

I hesitate to even write this -because people think like humans (and not like God) and so if I put this up there will be expectation that I will just go come fall. But the real point of this post instead, is to show how God is the Divine Seamstress, sewing our lives with others in ways we cannot see with our human eyes or understanding. He is guiding our lives in ways we could never fathom by ourselves. He is caring for the littlest details always. We don't have to 'understand' what His work in our lives means -such understanding comes from our need to 'control' instead of trust. Instead, God wants us to look at a story like this and just smile at Him saying, 'Yes, whatever you want Jesus.' And to thank Him that truly He always has all things under control. The 'important thing' is that when we surrender to Him, He makes His will be accomplished in our lives. The details of that will are far less important to Him than our simple childlike trust, thanksgiving, and love. He knows we are blind. He knows we are deaf and clueless -all He needs is our trust and He can use these weaknesses to do His beautiful work more perfectly than if we tried to do it alone.

Yes, it is nice to hold a hurting child to comfort him with an embrace -but sometimes what that child needs even more than our few moments of love is a lifetime of prayer which will bear fruit in his heart coming to know the eternal and endless Love of God. What I know for surely now is that Jesus is asking me (as well as you if you have read this far) to remember these hurting little ones all over the world -who don't even have a parent to look out for them. He said that anyone who gives a cup of cold water to one of His little ones in His Name will be rewarded greatly. Let's all give them a drink of His Love through our prayer for them today.

We All Have a Mission From God

Originally published:SATURDAY, JUNE 26, 2010

We all have a 'misison' from God

Blaisey lays in the hospital once again -struggling to breathe, tears streaming down her cheeks, she tries to mouth something to her Mom. Blaise is too little to understand the theological explanations of redemptive suffering, and her Mom is too tired and in pain (watching her little girl suffering) to try to figure it out either. But in heaven God is watching them. Their mission is one mission -one with Jesus on the Cross. Each breath of Blaise's is a prayer of surrender and trust -it is a kiss to Jesus on the Cross -and it covers a multitude of this world's many sins. Each tear of her mother is also a prayer, a prayer of hope, of love, of desire, of sacrifice -and these tears, too, cover a multitude of this world's sins. Blaise suffers for those adults who choose lives of deep sin over lives of deep grace. Blaise's Mom suffers for those women who choose to reject sacrifice and kill their children through abortion instead of loving them through suffering. Blaise has a mission from God to touch and change this world. And her Mom has a mission as well.

Veronica is at home all day with a handful of little ones gathered at her feet. One pulls at her skirt as a constant shadow, stuttering to keep her attention, just wanting love more than the answer to his question about birds. Another tries to 'help' by cleaning up her sisters' toys, which resounds in a fire-engine cry from the one playing on the floor. Mom finds herself playing doll house instead of cleaning the dishes once again -yet she realizes that keeping her children's hearts 'clean' through infusing her active love in their little activities is much more important than keeping her cupboard cleared. Nap time comes, and she loses her time for spiritual reading as she lays on the floor holding her crying child's hand who she insists takes a nap. A movie would be easier -or leaving him alone to 'cry it out' -yet Jesus said, 'Whatever you do for the least of these little ones, you do unto me.' She is sure that Mary would have made the sacrifice to lay with Her Child in love -even as He cried. Its easy to leave a child who is upset -but it is true sacrifice to insist that they obey, while still 'staying around' to put love in the difficult situation. Veronica has a mission as well. It is actively teaching her children to love, to share, to take care of each other, to forgive -something her own spiritual reading cannot do; something her own words cannot even do; something her children cannot 'figure out for themselves'. She must be a sacrifice, a witness, -so that they learn to sacrifice. And through forming her children in love, they will then go out and touch the rest of the world as well. Veronica can read about the cross -but God calls her to lay upon it as she falls asleep on the hardwood floors next to her daughter's bed once again. Her mission is different than that of others' -her children will become saints only according to how she teaches them to be through her own actions.

Benedict goes to work every day as a car salesman. In his meetings with people he encounters much sin -as they are fearless in sharing the 'dirty jokes' and 'last night's party mistakes' with him in between paperwork. He wants to provide for his family, yet has to daily fight the temptation to worry instead of trust, to cling to material things and riches as opposed to sharing his 'extra' with those who have nothing. He prays on the way to work, but struggles to turn the TV off at night to listen to his wife after the children are in bed. But at least he struggles. Each night he finds a list in his heart of things he would like to change in his life, and each morning he begs for the grace to stand up and start again. He humbly admits when he is wrong, trusting that when he lets his ego get a beating that God will resurrect it stronger than he could ever make himself. He takes the kids to basketball, yet uses it to teach them to control themselves in life as they control the ball on the court. Benedict has a mission different than others' -he's in the world, but because he is a Christian (and a Catholic Christian at that) God demands that he not be 'of the world.' Its hard to sit in mire and not begin to stink -so as he drives home at night he always stops in adoration for 30 minutes to ask Jesus to 'wash the world' from him and to fill him instead with Jesus' Own Love so he can take that home to his family. Benedict can reach souls Blaise never could -but in order to do it, he must be committed to selfless love and sacrifice -not just the sacrifice of a nice car or beer when money is low, but the sacrifice of his own will when it will put a smile on his wife's face and peace in her heart. In doing this, Benedict can be a saint.

Brother Antonio gets up at 5am to milk the cows. His mission in Eastern India seems fruitless these last years as those in the village surrounding him have moved to the bigger cities to find work. The trade school he began to teach the young men has been closed for 5 months. It seems all the fruits of his life of sacrifice, service and prayer have collapsed before him. But he remains faithful. He works his garden and prays for the souls God entrusted to his care, even if they left him. God transformed his mission from one of action to one of contemplation -and instead of fighting God's plan because of his own selfish desire to 'do something big for God', he accepts the seeming failure with a peaceful heart, entrusting all to the Wisdom of the Father. He remains faithful -in work, in prayer, in love -regardless of the fruit. Brother Antonio is a saint of his own kind -touching hearts through his work, prayer and faithful trust, souls which he will never see bear fruit because of him while on earth.

The world is covered with wounds and emptiness -as the hearts God created for Himself have drastically turned away from His call to Love.God needs souls to put love back in the lives of those who have thrown it away. But the work is so big, He needs each to do their part. And the struggle for each of us to fulfill God's will for our lives is so great, regardless of our individual vocation. Priests are tired and such tiredness tempts some to be closed to God's will, to be lazy, to focus on worldly comforts. Many fight these temptations, but the struggle is still there. Sisters forget that their first call is to be a 'spouse of Christ' covering Jesus with marital love through prayer, trust, service of others. Instead some are tempted to the honors of education, to 'doing a lot for God,' to living comfortably as well. Lay people like Veronica and Benedict are tempted towards the same honors and indulgences that priests and sisters can be -wanting to 'control' instead of trust God, wanting 'extra' instead of sharing with the starving, wanting rest when He asks us to toil with Him on the Cross while on earth in order to snatch as many souls as possible from the grasps of eternal damnation. Everyone struggles on earth -but we are called by Jesus to struggle with Him trusting His Grace will 'win' in our weakness in the end.

Each of us has a mission -a different mission.

Each of us are called to save souls -and this we do by simple love.

Simple Love -that's all God is truly asking of each of us on earth. That is what will make us saints. That is what will heal all wounds. That is what will give us strength and purify us.

Simple love.

Seeking poverty and purity of heart over riches and lusts. Seeking obedience and self-sacrifice (sacrificing our will and desires with JOY for the will and desires of others) over control and self-satisfaction. Simple Love must be infused into all hearts on earth. And I can't do it all. You can't do it all. Only WE can do it all -each of us together united in Jesus -each of us fulfilling the 'mission from God' that He entrusted to our souls at Baptism. Each of us have a VERY IMPORTANT mission from God on this earth -and it begins in our ordinary lives, in our particular vocations, in each decision we make and word we speak -it begins by doing everything in humble, servant Love for God and with Him for our neighbor. 

I have no idea why I felt urged to write this tonight -but I hope it touches even one soul out there. In today's world people are tempted to think that nothing is worth anything. They are tired spiritually and see no fruit. Yet God has a mission -and as we surrender our little hearts in our little lives to Him each day, He is using our fight to conquer with His Goodness; He is using the seemingly worthless little things we do in Love to make a great tapestry of Love in the world, which He then will use to 'catch' many souls for Himself. Please, never forget -whether you are 12 or 22 or 82 -you have a mission from God, a mission (a commandment) to love. And such love (in the little things you do each day) can stop wars, heal wounds, save lives and transform completely the face of the earth.

Are you trying to be a saint?!

Originally published:THURSday, NOVember 03, 2011

Are YOU trying to be a SAINT?

(Since no one seems to post here very often anymore, I might as well share my long thoughts… if nothing else, speaking Jesus’ Truth in Love can sanctify cyberspace. J)

People in this world aspire to be lots of things –the best doctor, the best salesman, the best fireman, the best banker, the best football player, the best movie star, the best chemist. Heroism was programmed into the human heart by the Creator for a purpose –but this purpose is to drive us to reflect His Own Perfection. This desire is given to us to be used to make us strive to be the ‘best person God created us to be’ –and in doing this, we fulfill each of our God-given vocations to be a saint.

‘Be a saint? Who, me?’ you may ask.

We each are called to truly be a saint. ‘St. Irvin of Elkhart, St. Claudia Nolan, St. Nick of South Bend, St. Kathleen of Granger, St. Amy –teacher, wife and mother, St. Joey Casimir –fisherman, skyper and stay-at-home dad –even St. Brad Pitt, the actor and St. Obama, the President’ may make us chuckle a bit at first –but truly, we are all called to be as such in life. Anything less is a tragedy. Yes, I said Anything less is a tragedy. In fact, French Philosopher Leon Bloy once said, ‘The only true tragedy in life, is not to become a saint.’

The whole purpose God had in creating and putting us little humans here on earth was to allow us to participate in His plan of Love. We were not created for ourselves nor were we simply created as an asset to society (even if God does love and use us for these two purposes as well). But ultimately –we were created for God –to participate in His plan of Love and (to be honest) simply for the purpose in making God’s Love visibly beautiful. I was reflecting on this walking through the woods yesterday looking at all the beautifully painted leaves. God is amazing, you know? He paints each leaf individually with such beauty –and the majority of these leaves are never seen by anyone but Himself and the angels. The same is with snowflakes, the bottom depths of the oceans, the innards of a molecule on Jupiter. God creates all with beauty and order simply because that is Who God is –these things are reflections of Himself –whether or not they are recognized or appreciated by any other. The same should be true of our lives.

God created us with an inner purpose –an inner purity and beauty different than that of every other human individual who ever has or will live –in order to reflect a different aspect of His holy Love. That is the purpose of our lives –to reflect His Face in all we think, do and say. We all were created to ‘be perfect as the Heavenly Father is perfect’ (Matthew 5:48) –which is to say, to ‘be holy because He is holy.’ (1 Peter 1:16)

‘And how does God expect little fallen me to be perfect and holy?’ you might ask. But the answer is very simple. As simple as a little child –we simply must become one.

We are asked to be holy and perfect in His Love. And His Love acts in us in two ways –in grace and in mercy. We either have His grace to help us love perfectly, or we have His mercy that cleans up our ‘mess’ when we fall from grace. But if we try in all our thoughts, actions, intentions and words to be full of His grace and mercy (grace when we succeed in loving humbly, patiently, purely, self-sacrificingly, courageously, meekly, forgivingly, peacefully –and mercy when we ask His forgiveness as soon as we see ourselves fail in these things) then we are perfect –not because of ourselves, but because of Him.

What does it look like to be a saint?

The only formula we have is to do God’s will in all things with love each day and to teach others (especially our children) to do the same. St. Paul explains that this means to ‘Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if one has a grievance against another; as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do. And over all these put on love, that is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of Christ control your hearts, the peace into which you were also called in one body. And be thankful… And whatever you do, in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” (Colossians 3:12-15, 17) He also tells us to guard our thoughts (and to protect the thoughts of our young children as well) by strictly monitoring what we put into our minds through our eyes and ears. He says that only ‘whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise’ to think about these things (Philippians 4:8) –that means the TV shows we watch, the music we listen to, the blogs we read, the thoughts we think and the jokes we tell must somehow reflect an aspect of God (His love, His purity, His peace, or His sort of holy humor). These two passages are enough to help us become saints –doing God’s will in all things with love each day and teaching others (through our example as parents, brothers, co-workers, daughters, etc.) to do the same.

This definition of holiness is how we will be judged when we die. It is not important if we had 700 million dollars or only three in the bank –all God will ask is what we did with it. It will not matter if we studied at Harvard or served in the Army or were a maid for the King of England in 1273. All that will matter is how we fulfilled with pure love the duty and will God put before us in our lives. At one of the Masses I attended for the Feast of All Saints the priest asked how many saints existed (numberless, of course, when you consider all the non-canonized people as well). Then he opened up a roll of paper listing all the canonized saints –and this roll stretched throughout the church. He mentioned the martyrs, the hermits, the moms, the children, the teenagers, the bishops, the prophets… No two saints look alike, because each is called to reflect a different aspect of God’s Love. How boring it would be if each color of the rainbow was the same! And so is true of our lives. Each person is a different part of His Body (not all are called to be hands, so we should not criticize ‘feet’ just because we are ‘hands.’) Each is called to something different. Some are called to public schools, some are called to Catholic schools, some are called to homeschool, some are called to no schools (in backwoods Africa J ). Some are called to long marriages, others are called to overcome the tragedy of a spouse’s death. Some are called to worship in a Latin Mass, others in a mission parish. Some are called to find God mystically at age 3 and others are created to come to know him only as an adult. Some are called to be a missionary by living radical virtue as a modern day stock broker in New York. Not all were called to attend daily Mass (impossible for those on a battlefield or home with sick children), not all were called to preach retreats, not all were called to write for newspapers or be priests –but each were called to simply do God’s will for their lives in love. Some are Eskimos, some Tribal leaders in Africa, some Counts in Germany, some Japanese Monks. The point is –the saint each of us were created to be helps fulfill God’s plan by us simply be that. Filling up His will for our lives in a spirit of Love. But this is the key. Every word, action, thought and intention of our lives must be filled with His Love. ‘Just be Mary,’ I was told by a holy priest in Confession once. Yes, the best way I can serve God in this world is to be ‘myself’ –not to imitate another person in personality or work (although imitation of virtues is a good thing), but simply to try to be the saint He created me to be. This I do by trying to accomplish His little will for me daily with His Own spirit of Love. And where I fall short, His Mercy is sure to stoop down and ‘help.’

To be a saint means to have a Heart like Jesus’ –to carry His imprint on your heart (like a identical twin of His love) wherever His will carries you. This is the key to Mary’s perfection of holiness –Her Heart was the identical twin of Her Son’s in virtue and Love (even if she lived this in Her Own personal, feminine, motherly way). See, even Mary had her unique calling. Jesus was not ‘Mother of the Savior’ –Mary was. But she was this in the highest perfection because Her Heart contained a perfect imprint of Her Son’s Love and Virtue. That is what matters in life –not that our lives look exactly like the saints or our neighbors in what we do, but instead that they look just like Jesus’ in Love and Virtue. So we all might as well stop comparing ourselves since this just leads to self-destruction. The only Person Who should be compared to our lives is Jesus Himself –and in His Light we will see where we need to grow in imitating His thoughts about people, His ways of placing Love absolutely everywhere.

Being a saint is not only for the special or strong –but it is a call of God for all people during all of their lives. No matter where God has planted you in life (in a convent, in a business, in a mall or at home as a mom), He has given you the grace to be a saint. Don’t waste this continual gift of grace –for this is the ‘talents’ he entrusts to us and for which we will be accountable to Him when we die. Use the grace –either perfectly in love, or perfectly by accepting the gift of His mercy covering you when you hold your faults to His Light.

So there is no need to compare, to judge or be jealous of other people’s lives –instead our energy should be put in ‘minding our own business’ –which is ultimately the ‘business of love’ –fulfilling our duty, loving God in everything and loving all our different ‘neighbor saints’ as ourselves (regardless how irritating it is when their faults rub up against our own). Let us encourage each other with a true spirit of holy love –encourage each other to discern and fulfill God’s will for our lives by following Christ’s particular call of Love to each of us. That is what our world needs today –not competition, but encouragement. The angels work in perfect support and harmony with each other –and we should do the same. That is why Jesus came to earth –to make us one. He prayed, “That they may be one, as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may be brought to perfection as one, that the world may know that you sent me…” (John 17:22-23) Just as each Person of the Trinity is separate, but united as truly One God in Love, so two we are each called to be separate saints, united in a spirit of holy Love. And what Jesus is saying in essence, is that when we live this ‘harmony of difference’ as He desires, this will be the greatest word of evangelization spoken to the world. I see this truth played out so often in convents, in parishes, in schools and even in our big family. We are all called to different things –but if we try to live with the mind and heart of Jesus in all times, places, conversations, work, etc., then a peaceful spirit of Love will begin to flow out from us to the world. What if each piece of a clock wanted to be the face –or each football player a quarterback? What chaos would reign! Each must do his assigned duty in faithful Love. And only then will God’s Kingdom truly come to reign on earth.

Let’s try to truly be saints from this day forward –and our hope and joy is that where we fall in grace and love, Jesus is waiting to pick us up and wash us in His mercy –if only we humbly will accept our dire need of it.