Just Mary's Fiat Life

Next Week's podcast will be about my work in Africa with orphans... here's a blog I wrote a few weeks before I left for africa 10 years ago:

Originally published: SUNDAY, AUGUST 15, 2010

Just Mary's 'Fiat' Life...

Mother Teresa once said: “I never look at the masses as my responsibility; I look at the individual. I can only love one person at a time - just one, one, one." 
This is my problem.
This precisely is my problem in life. I cannot love a 'group' of people. I must love lots of individuals -all the individuals, in fact, in the whole world. That is who Jesus has placed before me to love.

I am often overwhelmed by this beautiful quote of Mother Teresa's. And it is because at the same time of discovering its truth in life, I also discovered the power of individual prayer for people. When's the last time you fathomed in awe over the power of prayer for a soul? When God lifts the dark veil that covers my eyes in life for just a moment, sometimes I'm amazed at the power that even one prayer prayed with the heart for another human being can be in changing their life forever. Often the answer to such a prayer comes many years after the words were whispered in one's heart -but suddenly, one day, without great explanation -the person's life just changes. Bam! The power of grace -stored up by our Wise Father in Heaven -to be used for another at the precise time He knows the individual will reap the greatest benefits from those graces. God is truly amazing in this. He knows how to squeeze the best profit out of each 'investment' of prayer we give to Him. And as I watch in wonder how even 'careless prayers' I prayed many years ago are answered today, it fills me with a feeling of greater responsibility to truly pray for all those I encounter on my road in life. Take a guy I was 'in love' with in high school. I 'prayed' for him so that he would ask me out. He never did -but 15 years later I hear how others in his family left the Church and he fell into drugs -but then somehow, seemingly miraculously, he changed his life and became a very faithful Catholic. Hidden grace -I like to think it was God's answer to my 'silly prayers' -He never wastes them, of course. There are so many examples I see like this. Take Tom -no one liked him -all he did was cause problems to his girlfriend's family -and so they prayed he would just go away. Instead, he went through this amazing conversion and is today the ideal husband, father and son-in-law. All because of prayer -prayer that God heard and answered in His Own wise way.

When I see such sharp answers to prayers, it makes me wonder what would happen to the kid I saw on the street last week digging through trash cans (yes, right here in Elkhart) if I started praying daily for him. Had anyone ever prayed for him? Where would he be in 15 years if I committed to praying for his soul daily? What difference would it make in his life? Such things plague me with a great feeling of overwhelmingness -for if individual love and prayers are so powerful, how could I ever possibly find enough time to pray for each person in the world in a specific way?

Now, some might argue with me, "God only expects you to help those He places before you." And in theory maybe they are right. But what about all those voices I hear in my heart -those He places before the eyes of my soul? That's an awful lot of people. And I consider each one of them 'family.' You can't love the masses, just individuals, Mother Teresa wisely said. And yet, my struggle comes in my literal taking of the Gospel and all Jesus taught to us. I'll illustrate my point with a story. I remember once in Russia giving my winter coat to a girl on the street. The priest with me corrected me, saying I could not just give all my things away or I would have nothing left. But my argument was thus: what if it was my little sister Kathy freezing while we walked home from Church? Wouldn't even he give his coat to her (since she was my little sister)? He fell into my trap and said, 'yes.' Ahhha! Well, If I truly am called to love each person in the world as my brother and sister in Christ -and if by living my life consecrated as Jesus' spouse I truly see all the souls in the world as my 'spiritual children' with Him -then wasn't I MANDATED to treat this homeless girl on the street the same way I would treat Kathy? And that problem is precisely my problem in loving and prayer. How many people suffer just because they don't have a big sister to sit up at night and intercede for them before God? And so my struggle continues...

Considering all this, I was quite excited when Jesus once again showed me a 'way out' of my struggle. Of course I can (and I do) pray for 'all people with cancer' when I prayed for Bobby. But there is another way I can 'reach all people' even being so tiny and incapable myself. Its through the concept of us the Church being one body in Christ. I don't have to touch each person in the world -if I can just set one person on fire the ripple effect can (I hope with the grace of prayer) take place. I can set one person on fire in Russia and then they can set Russia on fire as I move on to Germany. In the Office of Readings this week I understood the 'strategy of God' in my life and vocation more clearly. St. Theodoret of Cyr wrote:

"When a shepherd sees that his sheep have scattered, he keeps one of them under his control and leads it to the pastures he chooses, and thus he draws the other sheep back to him by means of this one."

All I have to do is love God profoundly wherever He places me, and He will lead others back to Himself simply through my being faithful to Him. All I have to do is love one person in the places I am sent, and He will touch and transform that entire country, all people suffering in the same way, through that one who I touched. If I can love a woman who had an abortion, then she can come to know Jesus more profoundly -and then Jesus will use her to convert and help heal others who had abortions (He often uses our wounds to do His greatest work) and in that way I am touching 'all of them' just by loving that one. Isn't Jesus beautiful in the way He unites us in His work?

And so, with that being said, Jesus is sending me once again on a pilgrim journey throughout the world. I already shared the story about 'Tanzania' with you all. I will be leaving again Sept. 7th to fly through Rome to Moshi (ironically I will be touching down in Etheopia and Kenya on my way -two more opportunities to 'touch souls' through prayer and simple love in my short stays in the airport in those countries). I will be staying at the Upendo Children's Home with the Missionary Sisters of the Most Precious Blood. Then from October 10-November 7th I'll be visiting some sister friends in Vladivostok. I've never been there, but that is where the American Maryknoll priests have their mission. Then I will be traveling to Cape Town, South Africa where I will be spending a month with the Pallotine Sisters who work with orphans/AIDS babies at their St. Joseph's Home. And then for December I will be flying over to East London, South Africa to spend my last month at Open Arms (an orphan home especially for AIDS children founded and run by a former Notre Dame Baseball player -cool story to read if you rummage through the webpage). I have to fly back through Poland -so I rerouted my flight from Warsaw to Wroclaw so I can see the Przybylos for 5 days before I land back state-side on January 10th.

My hope with this trip is to simply love Jesus among these people -and to share this love He showers on me when I beg Him to with the world. I ask for your prayers for me during this time I am 'planting His seeds' of Love, and 'stealing His sheep' back to His Heart. Such travels are my cross -and only with your prayer can His power of Love conquer my weakness.

But please don't worry about me -He carries me, and I'm already living totally for Him in heaven (this life is just a mirage compared to eternity).

Please also pray that I can be faithful to the love and work He has for me in this world. If I miss just one sheep -than the ripple effect of 'missed grace' passed forward could be devastating. Love makes my desire to serve Jesus and the world radically huge. But Love also makes me realize that alone I can do nothing -and so I must let go of all control and entrust all those souls I love into His great wounded Hands of Mercy.

And so I pray:

Jesus, be our Savior.

And please fill in the holes we leave by the weakness in our lives. Please touch and make others' lives better even in spite of our great mistakes.

May Your Love perfect all! Amen. +