Well this hermit did! I am a person who always lived extremes -like concentrate lemonade people could only take so much of my intensity -yet that is why the life I was living as a hermit was perfect. Jesus never gets sick of intensity -the more fiery and radical our love is for Him, the happier He is -for its just a share in His Own Heart's Fiery Love. As a hermit I spent lots of time -TONS of time -in prayer and solitude... but when I was with people I gave them my full, 100% attention as if they were the only person in the world. People (and love) before anything else was my rule. Its a lesson I learned from studying the roots of the eremetical life. Reading about (and speaking directly with one) old Russian hermit about their idea of God's call deeply formed how I lived this here in America. And so, my time of solitude and silence and prayer was intense for Jesus. But my love for those He brought to me was fierce as well. When I fasted, I fasted. When I feasted, I feasted... there was a time for everything. Even birthdays. Year after year after year...
See, hermits aren't hermits for themselves... they embrace a life of deeply radical prayer, fasting, silence, solitude, poverty, chastity and obedience for others... Catherine Doherty in her book Poustinia explains this well. In the East (Russia, Greece, etc.) a hermit would leave their people and go out to meet their God -but their door was always left open. At a moment's notice the God they gave their life to would greet them by sending a child or an old neighbor needing a word of encouragement, a help with their potatoes, a glimmer of love and hope through a shared piece of bread (or some good brownies as I did for people). Well I see God's genius in planting me after years as a radical hermit (there were times I literally talked to no one for weeks on end -except Jesus in my hermitage) in the heart of America at the time when almost no one understood the hermit life. I would soak daily for incredible hours with His Eucharistic Heart -but only to bring that love out to the world. Sometimes it was simply when I went for a walk/run in the afternoon and prayed for the neighbors who I knew especially needed it. Sometimes it was by welcoming my nieces and nephews to the house to play outside for an hour with Aunt Mary. These things formed people in love... something quintessential in the eremetical life -its why I was called to live as a diocesan hermit and not in a Carmel -the solitude and prayer was more intense then I could live there, and yet ironically my presence to help form deep hearts for Jesus in the children (and adults, but especially children) he brought to me. I had a Carmelite friend in Poland who told me on more than one occasion that her biggest struggle in the Carmel was not having enough time for individual prayer with Jesus. As a hermit, private prayer was main focus of my life. And after soaking with Jesus, yes, I would allow the children to visit me -especially for my birthday! What a scandal! But what mattered most to God is that it was for them, not for me... and it wasn't every day... it wasn't even every week... but somehow it made the Jesus who Aunt Mary gave her whole life to (Jesus Crucified at that!) really attractive to those He loves the most (the little ones). They said they wanted to be missionary hermits and love Jesus with me for the rest of their lives... why... because God used nothing crazy aunt Mary to show them His Face of Love. So yes, I celebrated birthdays. Johnny would have loved it:
And sometimes during my 'work period' took them to visit the poor:
And prayed in adoration with them:
And even made an appearance at a saint party:
And once I even got a hermit make-over:
And once in a while would stop at their house on their birthday (in between adoration and Mass) so that they knew that even if Aunt Mary was married to Jesus and loved Him crucified, that love could give joy.
Everyday? No... every week... no... but there was nothing against that in my rule. Some hermits welcome retreatants or give retreats... I did that too on occasion, but I was called to form young souls. And my first crucifix cake at the age of 4 turned into a family tradition... once a year all the kids (who often didn't see me at all) would gather at Grandma and Grandpa's and Aunt Mary would bust back out her guitar and we would all eat pizza and cake. And they could all visit my hermitage and say a prayer to Jesus. Birthdays are good -we celebrate Jesus' (Christmas). And if I hadn't been born, I couldn't be a hermit.
So any of you hermits out there getting grief for eating a piece of cake with small children wanting to celebrate your birthday, take a deep breath. St. Teresa of Avila once ordered steaks for all her sisters because she said they were too gloomy and gloomy saints made Jesus sad too.
And let us never forget, that although rules and schedules and all of that is important for an ordered life (God is a God of order) -the greatest saints (including sweet John of the Cross) always said:
"At the end of life, we will solely be judged on love..."
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