I don't know how to fight and yet be humble. When I say fight I literally mean to fight viciously against anything and everything that can take me from my Jesus, while yet being docile to the gentle Holy Spirit trying to lead me and merciful to all the people who inevitably are not perfect around me. I struggle with keeping my heart stalwartly in the cement of faithfulness while being docile to God and approachable to others who may not be where I am in life. This juxtaposition that meets in the true definition of humility is the key to spiritual warfare... its the key to staying faithful to Jesus in a world that tries with its entire strength and might to rip you from Him and throw you to the dogs while being gentle in love. The saints say that humility is the weapon best used in the spiritual life -and yet sometimes I feel like I fight so hard to be faithful that there is no room left for humility. Am I nothing enough yet to walk through a spiritual battlefield with raging bombs and not be touched? And yet, is a little soldier gal supposed to be nothing -or instead aren't we supposed to be brilliant, vibrant, exuberant versions of who God created us to be. Is that humble? Humility is truth and so the answer has got to be somewhere between the bold determination and the contentness in being so weak that collide in my heart.
Good thing I don't even have to understand all this... I give it all to my Sweet Jesus and He can rearrange the furniture in my heart... He can form me... and I just have to trust Him when I don't see what He's doing in the darkness. Its just my thoughts tonight... the musings of Mary:
Jesus, we love You. Jesus we trust in You. +
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